


The Things We Know

by IWillNotGoGentlyIntoThatGoodNight (Menochange)



Series: Conversation in Silence [3]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Batman and Robin (Comics)
Genre: Angst, Batfamily Feels, Big Brother Dick Grayson, Damian Wayne Feels, Damian Wayne is Robin, Damian Wayne-centric, Damian wants to help, Dick Grayson is sad, Gen, Secrets, Talia is a Bad Mother
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-13
Updated: 2018-07-13
Packaged: 2019-06-09 17:27:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15272580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Menochange/pseuds/IWillNotGoGentlyIntoThatGoodNight
Summary: For all his bluster and arrogance, when it really came down to it there were only a few things in this world in which Damian Wayne was absolutely certain about:1) Batman always comes first.2) Love is for Children3) Dick Grayson is a child.





	The Things We Know

**Author's Note:**

> Hello :)  
> So this is the sequel to Do You Hear The Silence, I don't think you don't need to read that one to get this one but it provides context to a scene mentioned.

There are three things that Damian Wayne knows with absolute, unwavering certainty.

The first is simple: **Batman _always_ comes first** – It is the undeniable truth that no one not even Todd could disagree with. What is also undeniable is the fact that, Damian will one day become Batman. His life has been planned out even before the moment of his conception. This is the first and for the longest time the only thing he had known for certain, Batman _is_ everything. Damian Thomas Al Ghul-Wayne is his father’s son. Batman is his responsibility, his legacy to one day uphold. It’s not a choice, it’s his destiny. And until the day comes that he will take over the mantle from his father he will strive to uphold this principal as Robin. He will protect Batman with everything he has, just like his predecessors. It is quite possibly the only thing that is expected of him by _both_ of his parents. It’s what it means to be Robin, what it means to be Batman. Because Batman comes before all else. Nothing is more important than Batman.  

The second thing is a little more complicated, it wasn’t something he was actively told or something he knew instinctively; It was something he learnt, an idea that had been cemented in his mind as absolute fact through his own life experience.

But to truly explain he had to start from the beginning.

When he was a child he dreamed about life with his parents, about how they would one day be a family and he would be happy, loved. He used what little he gleaned from the sparse encounters with his mother prior to his eighth birthday, to form his own imagined perceptions of what his parents were like; how they would one day be reunited, together at last his parents would be proud of him, would tell him they loved him and they would be happy together forever. It was only as he had grown up that he had realised that concepts such as dreams, happiness and love were for naïve little children who did not know any better.

After meeting his mother upon his eighth birthday, he was taught the real things that matter in life; Obedience, Honour and Discipline.

The rules were simple:

  * You always did as you were told, following the rules were a must.
  * You always honour you family, failure was not an option – if it is between failure and death; you chose death.
  * You have to be the best. Being good isn’t _good_ enough. 
    * If you are not the best then you are useless.
    * If you cannot do something or cannot learn to do something quickly then you are useless.
    * If you do not work on your skills and therefore fall behind, then you are useless.
    * If you do not use your skills to benefit the league, then you are useless.
    * Being useless is as good as being dead.
    * Therefore if you are useless you deserve to die.



For years Damian followed these rules, never even imagined – because imagination was also for children – that there was anything out there for him outside of the league. He never dreamed to be anything other than what his mother wished for him to be, because whilst he knew that love was for children, he also knew that his mother cared for him (That very idea was once, the first thing Damian had known with absolute certainty). Deep down he believed she loved him and that these rules were there because she wanted what was best for him.

It would be much later that he would realise that he was wrong. Up until the very moment he died, even after he had heard about the bounty; he had held onto the hope that it was a lie, a bluff, that she did love him and she didn’t really want him dead. But the truth was his mother did not love him, he was a pawn in her games and if he wasn’t willing to obey then he was useless and according to league rules being useless was the same as being dead.

It had taken him longer than he liked to admit to understand that the only thing his mother seemed to care about was Bruce Wayne. As a child she had spoken to him about his father, filled his head with amazing stories about the man and turned him into a legend. Looking back, he could now see how animated, how happy his mother was to talk about the amazingly charming and unbeatable Batman – she was happy in a way that she never was around anyone else, not even her own son.

It was not long after the stories started that Damian start to dream once again about having his family together. He had been young and foolish believing in a fantasy world where his parents cared for each other and they loved him. They were proud of him and wanted to be with him forever. Then he would wake up and realise he was alone once again.

He had even spoken of his dreams to his mother who seemingly supported it whole heartedly, but she had then told him the reason why his father had abandoned him, of Robin the impostor who had taken his rightful place beside his father; not only as his son but as his partner too. His mother told him that the only way to get his father to see him was to prove he was worthy to be the new Robin, to be his son.

He tried to do just that only to be rebuffed, chastised at every turn.

It was much later that Damian realised that his father did not believe he was worthy to be Robin or his son and probably never would. His father was not proud of him and most certainly did not love him – maybe he would one day but never as much as he loved the others, even Todd would always be loved more than Damian. Every single one of them was chosen by his father personally whilst Damian was a burden, a responsibility he did not actually want. But that didn’t matter because he had already learnt that for people like him, stupid things like dreams, happiness and love were for children and _Damian Wayne was not a child_.

Which is the second thing Damian knew for absolute certain: **Love is for children.**

Despite the fact that he had no tangible proof of his theory, the final thing of which he was certain involved one Richard Grayson. At times he was an honest to god idiot, who talked a lot and liked to do stupid thing such as: going for ice cream during patrol, watch pointless childish movies or playing tag on the rooftops. Damian sometimes wondered if perhaps the older vigilante had hit his head too hard on patrol back when he was Robin but mostly he sighed and accepted (before his father came back and took over once again) that this was his life now. He was Robin for an Idiot.

So the final thing Damian Wayne knew for absolute certain was that **Richard Grayson _was_ a (man-) child.**

Which is why when Dick turn to Damian after their compulsory (and utterly moronic) DBBT – **D** esignated **B** rotherly **B** onding **T** ime (Grayson actually made them hideous matching T-shirts with the acronym which the former assassin promptly burnt – The other man always came prepared though so now Damian always had one regardless of how many he previously disposed) and out of the blue told him that he loved him, the young assassin and the sole heir to the AL Ghul and Wayne legacy believed him. There was no doubt in his mind that Dick Grayson loved him. His parents had proven that love is for children and Richard was and would probably always be a child.

There was one other thing he was also fairly certain of, although it was a fairly recent hypotheses and was surrounded by (his own) speculation and conspiracy; **Richard Grayson was sad.**

Had he been anyone else, he probably wouldn’t have noticed. Richard was an excellent actor when he wanted to be but, Damian was better. He was Robin, Grayson’s Robin and therefore he would always know what was wrong with his Batman even when he was no longer Batman. He didn’t know why his brother was sad, at first he had thought that perhaps it was a problem with some redhead or another, his brother had a type and a history of ill-advised relations. But that didn’t explain why both his father and Grayson seemed to be avoiding each other recently. One could believe that it was out of embarrassment due to the scene they had made a few days ago in the dining room coffee mugs abandoned what he deduced to be hours ago as Grayson sat cradled in father’s arms like some sort of overgrown child – Had their eyes not been blood shot and the silence within the room palpable the scene would have been ridiculous.

But that morning as he and Drake trudged unassuming and unaware of the venerable moment that was taking place, it was startling to say the least. Even Drake in his pre-coffee stupor had paused shocked out of sleep and caffeine withdrawal at the very sight. Neither of them had known what to do or say, so they said nothing and had walked right back out, an unspoken agreement to come back down for breakfast in an hour. No one has spoken about that morning since, Grayson went back to pretending, Father had been distant, more closed off than usual and Drake seemed to have taken cues from the others and decided to pretend that the incident had never occurred which was frustrating because as much as Damian hated to admit it, Drake was a good detective and he could really use his help in figuring out what is going on. But if the other boy wasn’t doing it himself then there was no way Damian was going to ask him to get involved, he could and would do this on his own. Grayson and his father were both his Batman (Batmen?) and clearly there was something wrong with both of them. But that was alright because whatever it was Robin would fix it because Batman always came first.

So he begun working on a plan to confront Grayson. Out of the two of them he was the most emotional, the most talkative, and the easiest one to crack. Father would be harder but once the information was extracted from Nightwing, he could worry about the other details. He was going to find out what was going on tonight, one way or another.

  

* * *

 

 

As it turned out he didn’t need to come up with a plan to corner Grayson as the man in question came to him. He was seated outside Damian’s bedroom, clearly waiting for him to come home after patrol. It was strange, most of the lights were off in the corridor and the young boy had barely been able to make out his brother in the dim lighting. Why he was sitting here in the relative darkness and not out on his own patrol as Nightwing would have been his first question if his brother hadn’t smiled at him – it was small and timid, totally unlike his usual wide, childlike beam that Todd had once told Damian (in clear disgust) was so bright that it could blind the elderly and small children (Grayson had just laughed when he had heard the comment and said he was glad that neither of them fell under either category so he could smile at them all night long without it affecting patrol – needless to say they were not amused).

“Grayson?” He questioned unsure what to say now that his brother was in front of him.

“Dami” Dick breathed as he pushed himself up off the flood and pulled Damian into a hug. If questioned about it later the thirteen year old would claim that he was too shocked to pull away but the truth was that he was worried about Richard and the contact eased the small part of his mind that had been insisting that whatever problem had been plaguing Grayson was his fault, Damian had done something wrong and now his brother was paying the price. He knew logically that it was unlikely but he still worried, wondering quietly in the dead of the night whether his brother hated him, if that’s why he was sad.

“Let’s go inside little D, there is something I need to talk to you about” Richard’s tone was light and upbeat on the surface but there was a tinge of something else, apprehension or perhaps fear? It set off alarm bells inside his head. Damian nodded though allowing his oldest brother to pull away and enter his room, he followed after a moment as he turned to close the door behind him, he spotted his father at the end of the hallway, face was shrouded by the darkness but Damian just knew the man’s eyes were upon him, watching, waiting – for what? The teenager had no idea but it sent shivers down his spine none the less. He wanted to call out to his father, question his odd behaviour but his mouth wouldn’t comply, instead he raised a hand in greeting wondering if his father would join them, unsure whether he wanted the man to or not. Instead his father turned towards his room without a backwards glance leaving the boy to watch after his retreating shadow.

“Dami?”  Dick questioned and Damian shook his head slightly as he finally closed the door behind him and turned towards his brother.

“What did you need to talk about?” He asked as he sat down on his bed besides the older man.

“I’m leaving”

Damian’s heart constricted tightly within his chest for a moment before he relaxed laughing internally at his childish stupidity, of course he was leaving. It had always been inevitable. They probably believed he was a child who couldn’t handle this, which is why they have been acting so odd lately. And sure he was slightly bitter that his brother was leaving not long after he had gotten him back but he was not an idiot, he understood that father and Grayson worked better in their own spaces.

“I understand Grayson. It is fine, there is no need to baby me. Bludhaven is not all that far from here. Regardless of what you may believe, I will survive without your constant hovering. So you may leave, as you please. Do not delay yourself on my behalf”      

“Dami” Grayson sniffed and Damian looked up into the face of his older brother only to realise that the older boy was crying, face wet with tears.

“Gray- GRAYSON! Get a hold of yourself, this is unbecoming of a previous holder of the Batman title, in fact…”

“Dami” Richard cut in “I’m not going to ‘haven, I’m leaving to … well I’m not sure where I’m going at the moment…I just, I need to leave and …”

“NO! ... NO, YOU PROMISED, YOU PROMISED!” Damian repeated over and over aware that he sounded like a child throwing a tantrum, aware of the tears that had started flowing down his own face but unable to stop any of it (the words or the tears) as he jumped from grief to anger and then back again unsure what he was feeling at this very moment. A part of his very being breaking at the thought that he was wrong. That Richard Grayson did not love him.

“Dami, Dami stop, _Please_ … I know Dami, I know. Which is why I want you to come with me. I promised I would never leave you again but I can’t stay here Babybird. I can’t. I need to go, but I don’t want to leave you if I don’t have to” Dick pulled him into his lap clutching Damian in a tight hug as the younger boy threw his hands around his older brother’s neck clutching back at him just as tightly. They sat there holding each other, long after their tears had dried and the sun started to rise finally the younger vigilante broke the silence.

“When would we come back?” he asked quietly

“I don’t know Babybird, I don’t…I don’t know if I am coming back” He whispered pulling his Robin in closer “Look, I understand if you can’t come, you just started a life here in Gotham, you have other friends and family now. Your dad is here and you’re Robin. You go to school and you have a proper team outside of our little Batfam, technically two teams if you count you and Jon’s team ups. I don’t want you to miss out on living your life because of me little D. I love you, I love you so much and I want you to do whatever’s best for you. Saying no doesn’t mean I’ll love you any less and I’ll still call you and send you postcards, I won’t disappear completely I promise. I just wanted to give you the choice because I promised I would never leave you behind again.”

“I don’t know” The teen whispered, conflicted and unsure what to do.

He didn’t want to leave his brother alone but he also didn’t know if he could leave this life that he had created behind. Could he leave his father and Batman alone without a son, or more importantly without a Robin? Could he leave his pets behind? Could he leave Jon without a friend and Partner or the Titans without a Leader? And what would they even do when they left? It didn’t sound like Grayson would be involved with any vigilante work, so would they be civilians? Could Damian be a civilian and only a civilian? He had been raised as an assassin and spent the last three years (mostly, if you don’t count being dead for a short period of time) being a vigilante, could he even survive being normal? Did he even know how?

What for? Why should Damian have to give up anything? Because of Grayson? Because he couldn’t hack it as a vigilante and needed to leave, Damian was expected to what? Leave everything he has accomplished? Leave his father, everyone he knew and his whole world behind for what? To follow Grayson? Like some sort of lost puppy?

And what about Batman? Could Damian really leave his Father, his partner? Drake claims that Batman needs a Robin so what would happen if Damian left? Would he be replaced? Could he handle that? Someone else wearing his birthright, taking his place? Would he be forgotten?

And if they don’t come back? What happens then? It is Damian’s destiny, he was born to be Batman, to take over for his father. If he leaves and never comes back what happens to Batman? Who would become Batman? Would he be ok with someone taking what was rightfully his? Could he give up his duty as the sole heir of the Al Ghul and Wayne family? Could he give up Batman? Gotham? Robin had to take care of Batman. Could he really allow someone like Drake to take his place both as Batman and Bruce Wayne's heir? Could he just leave behind everything and everyone he’s ever known, Could he actually leave Batman behind?  

No. Enough. This wasn’t helping, his thoughts were going around in circles.

He knew what he was going to do.

The Honest truth was, that he had known what he was going to do from the very beginning, when Grayson first said he was leaving. He was just too scared to say it out loud. Too scare to hurt the feelings of a man who had been hurt by many before. But the truth was, this wasn’t a choice. Realistically this was the only logical outcome possible given everything. 

Because when it came down to it, when he really thought about it, there were **four** things he was absolutely, without a doubt certain of in this world:

The first is that **Batman always comes first**.

The second is that **Love is for Children** (and Damian Wayne is not a child)

And the third thing is that **Dick Grayson is a child.**

Therefore given the previously stated declaration of love from the aforementioned child and his unwavering belief that love is in fact for children. There is only one logical conclusion that could follow this revelation; Richard Grayson would always love him regardless and therefore Robin could not leave his Batman, because Batman always comes first.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And so the last and final thing that Damian Wayne knows with absolute unwavering certainty is that **Richard**   **Grayson will _always_ be his Batman**.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it, Let me know what you think :)


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